|Fuck being a cop
There were times when I was a kid, after I would get teased or picked on by the older kids in the neighborhood, that I would go home and fantasize
about getting angry enough to become the Incredible Hulk.
I was undersized most of my life and so daydreaming about revenge grew into one of my guilty pleasures growing up.
At one point I remember believing that if I could stand in front of the television holding my shirt up under my chin long enough I could absorbed enough radiation from the television to allow me to change into the incredible Hulk and just kick the shit out of somebody.
And I wasn’t even a kid that got picked on a lot growing up either. I can’t even imagine what those Columbine kids must’ve been imagining in their little heads.
Well, actually I guess I can.
The best part about being the Hulk though was that no one would ever pin it on me. I wouldn’t look the same. I was just a kid. There is no way anyone would be able to put two and two together and peg me, especially if I didn’t leave any witnesses which I hadn’t planned on doing anyway.
The plan was this, if anyone ever pissed me off bad enough that I felt like turning into the Hulk that would be their ass.
End of discussion.
Ah, don’t start crying now. You should have thought of that before you stole my bike.
See, often times I have thanked God for not giving me the physical prowess of like a Shaq for instance.
If I was 6’5 230 pounds when I was thirteen, with the temper I had, there would be a lot of people out there that have grown up to be productive members of society whose lives would have turned for the worst had I been able to sever their spines over my knee like I had fantasized about doing.
You see, just because I didn’t have enough patience to stand in front of a television long enough to expose myself to enough television radiation to turn into the Incredible Hulk didn’t mean that other people weren’t as impatient as I was.
And it was that realization which eventually made it into one of my top five reasons for not wanting to be a police officer when I grew up.
Fuck being a cop.
People always complain about police officers being nothing more than insecure bullies or these bitter kids that got picked on growing up and so they joined the military, spent four years sitting in some third world country behind the back of God somewhere spreading Christianity only to came back home and get a badge so that they can take their revenge out their real enemy…us.
They always say “show me a cop and I will show you a guy or girl that still has a list in their back pocket of everyone that has ever did them wrong in high school,” well that might be true, but I say fuck being a cop because aside from their personal issues they are still the ones whose actual job is to do deal with a real life Incredible Hulks.
Case in point, the San Francisco Chronicle reported that as recently as last week, officers were called to a residence on the 1200 block of Valota Road where they had received a call from the family inside that a man inside the house was acting “strangely”.
The man who had been acting "strangely" had barricaded himself in a closet and armed himself with a machete.
Before the eight hour ordeal with this guy would come to conclusion, this strange acting guy had been pepper-sprayed eight times and shot with a stun gun as well as a weapon that fired hard rubber plugs 15 times.
He just took the pepper-spray like a trooper, pulled one of the stun-gun probes out his chest with his bare hands and actually used the machete to slice through the wires of the second probe.
Police ended up open firing on him when he jumped through a window and charged at them with his machete.
The five officers involved in the incident were all placed on administrative leave pending an investigation.
I don’t even see why they would want to come back to work after something like that.
I bet they didn’t see anything like that helping the WHO administer flu shots in Uganda.