I wrote once that “If it wasn't for beer, humans would have a mating season just like every other animal on the planet. Then we would just go our separate ways,” well I was right.
Well here comes the science.
Humans have no need for mating seasons because we can jump start one for ourselves any time we feel like it.
Apparently, when you drink alcohol you start stimulating the nucleus accumbens or the part of the brain that determines facial attractiveness.
And by stimulating I don’t mean making it sharper.
In scientific studies conducted by researchers at the Universities of Glasgow and St. Andrews, they found that the more people drank the higher they ranked the pictures they viewed of the opposite sex.
So there is more going on when you drink than you just lower your inhibitions, you actually think that the person you are talking to is more attractive than they probably are even by your standards.
So that moment of clarity that you think you get after your 7th beer is not really clarity at all.
So the question is, if it wasn’t for beer how many of us would even be here?
10% of people walking this earth were planned. 9 out of 10 of us were accidents.
Holysmokes.org even went so far as to say that God wants us to develop our forebrains because that is the part of the brain which makes us human and distinguishes us from all other animals. It is the part of our brain that the military tries to condition us not to use in combat situations because it is in the forebrain that is hardwired our repulsion for taking human life.
It is in our forebrain that we think about the future and therefore consequence.
I think they have a point.
If the nucleus accumbens are in our forebrain, then God created alcohol so that we would create more receptacles for souls waiting to be born into a physical existence because he has saw rather quickly that he couldn’t rely on sexual attractiveness alone.
Human beings have a tendency to rank beauty just like they rank and measure everything else.
And although it is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the beholder still has an idea of what he is looking for. In other words he has standards.
Standards which seem to go right out of the window when he is plastered.
The discovery of Stone Age beer jugs has proven that intentionally fermented beverages existed at least as early as 10,000 B.C.
It would be interesting to see if there was a spike in human population around this time as well.
And make no mistake about it, there are a lot of people out there that owe every single sexual experience that they have ever experienced on the rotgut.
Just like barnacles hang on to whales, there are those girls that hang around beer kegs waiting on some guy to come around that they can latch on to so he can take her for a ride.
She knows the routine. No one really pays attention to her for the first few hours of the party, but by the time things start winding down, there are a handful of guys are confusing her for Catherine Zeta-Jones and she gets to have her pick.
Who needs to be in heat when you have fermented drinks?